Judgement

Stop seeking validation.

Stop fearing others’ opinions of you.

When people have done something they’re not proud of, or they’re about to, they’ll often say:

“Don’t judge me.”

They’ll make out like they’re all casual about it, they’re just joking, but they’re not.

But the sad truth is it’s already too late.

You’re constantly judging people, and they you, so deal with it.

When two people interact every little action causes an instant reassessment of the connection between the two.

It’s not even like you can control it, because most of the time it’s pre-conscious.

Plenty of studies now show for example that white people subconsciously judge black people negatively, even if they don’t think they do.

(Don’t believe me? Want to find out how racist you are, take the test. It’s called the Implicit Association Test. Google it. Do the Harvard one, NOT the buzzfeed one FFS.)

The implications of this are huge, think of your own associations if someone talks about a “terrorist.”

Point in case is the joke:

“what do you call a Muslim that flies an aeroplane?”

“A pilot, you racist bastard!”

But this is not the conversation I’m driving at here.

The fact is the human brain has evolved to use stereotypes to make sense of the world.

So when our brains attempt to work out whether new situation is “good” or “bad” they use short cuts.

When it comes to people this decision-process categorises people as safe, not safe, in my tribe, or outsider…

And our cultural stereotypes, built upon pure circumstance of where, when, and to whom we are born, and the choices we make from that moment forwards, combine to do the rest.

So, the only honest answer to “don’t judge me” is “too late, I already have.”

THE MORE INSIDIOUS JUDGEMENT IS THAT YOU’VE ALREADY JUDGED YOURSELF.

You are judge, jury, and executioner.

And if you haven’t already done the thing, then you’re saying “don’t judge me” in the full knowledge that you’re about to the thing that’s going to make you feel bad.

So in this instance, you’ve judged yourself negatively, assigned blame and guilt, and layered it on top of an already negative self-image.

And only then have you proceeded to do the ‘bad’ thing.

WHAT KIND OF MADNESS IS THIS?

It’s why meditation is such a powerful tool.

You can’t control your pre-conscious, or subconscious reactions, but you can give them a nudge in the right direction.

While cultural, situational, and cognitive biases make up a large part of what and who we are, both the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ whatever that means, those elements of our self can be manipulated.

So what’s the answer? Some zen-like acceptance?

Ultimately, I suppose it is. But what about the rest of us?

Well, while you can’t ever fully control you subconscious, you can lay some ground work so that it has better assumptions and biases to work from.

For example, going back to the studies that show that (some) white people are subconsciously pre-disposed to view (some) black people as a threat.

You can change this programming a few ways:

By questioning your own assumptions.

By exposing yourself the world outside of your echo-chamber, breaking down stereotypes, and creating new associations more in line with who you want to be.

And by practicing mindfulness which can help catch reactions as they happen, and give you the opportunity to moderate them, discard them, or accept them based on the situation at hand.

Ultimately, the goal is to create a situation where your instinctive judgments are more aligned with your higher self.

And this applies equally to everyday interactions, whether is around race, or class, or family, or money, or work, or yourself…

Yes you can and will judge people.

Yes you can and will judge yourself.

But if you get your ground work right, those judgements will come from a good place, and reflect positively on those your cast you judgement upon.

Rather than don’t judge me, you want your reaction to be:

“judge me, or don’t – it doesn’t matter! Your judgement and validation good or bad mean nothing to me. I know who I am, and I know my own mind”

iteration

I’ve been in a weird mind set recently. Not a bad mind set. A weird mind set.

Too much time to think. And too much time looking at various blockchain projects.

I feel like I’ve become a different version of myself. And that got me thinking about versioning, and all the different iterations you go through as a human. We go through multiple iterations of ourselves, or at least we should.

Some people get to 3.0 and they settle. They stop upgrading. They stop learning. They get slow.

Eventually they get forgotten. A relic. Unable to take part in the world effectively, because their code is outdated.

We live many lives, all stacked one upon the other, each iteration building on the software, and running on the hardware inherited from the previous iteration.

Sometimes though, you need a complete do-over. You need to scrap the machine. Delete the code. Tear up all the research, and just start over. Except you can’t.

Because one thing you can’t undo is the experience of what has passed. You can’t unlearn, what you’ve learned. Like it or not, you’re always another iteration of a previous self.

Right now, the world seems to be going through a new iteration too. It’s moving very quickly from centralised, to decentralised. Which promises hope and freedom to a vast amount of people across the globe.

But, fuck the hope. The hope will kill you. As Bain says:

“We will feed them hope to poison their souls”

Instead, focus on the freedom. Freedom from debt. Freedom from banks. Freedom from corruption.

But this is no small update. This is a major update. It’s a take the morning off work while you download and install security patches level update.

It’s BIG, because it’ll mean thinking differently, operating differently, interacting with the world differently. You’ll be expected to work with new concepts like AUTONOMY and PRIVACY, instead of CONTROL and SECURITY. You’ll be expected to take the lead instead of waiting to be led. You’ll be in charge – and most people aren’t ready for that kind of upgrade.

My current iteration is a good one though. Since digging into crypto this last year, I feel like I’ve been part of of the early beta release of this new global iteration.

And it’s fired me up to help others break their chains.

So stop letting outdated software fuck with your future.

It’s time for an upgrade:

https://breakthechains.convertri.com/